I often hear people say things like, “be louder,” “add more energy,” or “use bigger gestures”when trying to help someone improve their stage presence or charisma. These suggestions come from a good place but I believe they can lead to only temporary results or even inauthentic communication.
It’s tempting to focus on the outward signs of confidence: physicality, voice projection, or how someone “holds the room.” And yes, these things are important. But to me, they’re like a bandaid on something bigger. If we only focus on what’s visible, we risk missing the deeper work that makes those outward qualities truly resonate i.e. connection.
Presence, at its core, is the energy you bring into a space. It’s about being fully engaged, not just with yourself but with those around you. When that energy flows naturally, it creates trust, authenticity, and yes, a sense of charisma. But that flow doesn’t come from performing it comes from something much more grounded.
What I’ve found in my own practice is that when we create spaces where people feel safe, where they feel seen, heard, and valued they naturally open up. They don’t need to push or perform; they bring their full selves into the room. Presence flows from that sense of safety, from connection, not from trying to “perform” confidence.
Charisma often seems like something some people are just “born with.” But I believe it’s something we can nurture. It grows out of empathy and connection, first with yourself, and then with others. When we focus on building community, fostering understanding, and removing the pressure to compete or “be the best,” we create the conditions where presence can truly thrive.
Patsy Rodenburg’s idea, of the “Second Circle” resonates deeply with me. It’s that space where energy flows between you and others. It’s not about retreating inward, nor is it about pushing outward to perform. It’s about finding the balance, being fully engaged in the moment. That’s where connection happens. That’s where charisma lives.
Sometimes, advice like “be louder” or “use more energy” is offered to help someone improve their presence. While this can have its place, I’ve found that focusing on helping someone “be more present” often leads to a deeper, more authentic connection. When we shift the focus from how someone appears to how they connect, the results can be transformative.
This perspective has been shaped by experiences like Prologue with MSB and the work of Kerry Frampton, both of which have reinforced my belief in the power of presence.
Presence isn’t about being loud or commanding a room. It’s about being real. It’s about connection.
